Marriage.. Really??

Am I the only one who thinks its pointless? Or that people are rushing into it? Its not like I'm against committment. I don't think I'm against the concept of marriage either, its just that I guess there's too much to do before that. People think its time to "settle down". What does that even mean? "Settle Down"?? Are we all too restless? And if we are too restless, then how does marrying someone change that?
S thinks its because I'm from a broken home. Maybe it is a little. But this whole anti marriage thing is not exactly ANTI marriage. I guess I just think most people do it because they know they have to at some point so why not just do it and get it over with. Some guys reason saying that having kids later in life is difficult so lets get married and have kids early, parents say its to give you a sense of responsibility, or to help you have a home and a family of your own. All valid reasons I guess from their own points of view, but it just does not make sense to me. I mean, just because I have to die some time in the future doesnt mean I'll accelerate the process, or ok if that's too morbid an example how about, if you know you want to have kids at 30 you wouldnt get pregnant at 15 because, hell its going to happen eventually so why not get a head start.
People plan these things in the weirdest manner imaginable and for the weirdest reasons possible, I know this one guy who planned his marriage and his kids in a way that his Life Insurance payout coincides with his kid's going to college. And so that he could afford to get married at the "correct" time, he got his dad to foot the bill, because, well parents have to pay for their kid's marriage. Of course sweetie, why not.
Its a scary concept and I dont know if I'll ever truly be ready for it. Until I do I guess. I mean surprisingly enough I was swept away by one conversation and a promise of marriage, so much that I even asked an old flame to propose to me on top of the highest mountain on a trip we took together. Its strange I guess, the romance of it all. I guess I really do live in the land of fairies and goblins. Where nothing is ugly or dark or flawed. Its all just "perfect" in a sense. Where a simple heart -to-heart talk can sweep you off your feet, and a soft look and make you want to swoon. And a quiet question, barely asked; a simple "Will you?" can strip away all your fears, turning you inside out until you succumb and let yourself be carried away in the insanity of it all, never minding the eventual outcome, just remembering the wave that captured you and carried you into the promised land.

Between brownies and batman

The radio buzzes, the phone rings, disconnected thoughts racing through my mind. I see polka dots, pretty colours, what if this never ends, oh shit!!! oh fuck!!! I have work tomorrow, how the hell am I gonna get back!!! I have to cange three trains... you bastard!!! why the hell did you let me do this, wait... I wanted to do this!!! Fuck, it was my idea!! I'm so stupid!!!! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit

Is it me or is the music really weird, how long have I been asleep? Look at the clock.. there it is, read the time, wait. i cant read, 2:15 am.. what?? that cant be, I just checked 2 hours ago, it was 2:10 am... the clock"s broken... I gotta find my cell phone, where's the phone.. shit... how am I gonna get back?? I cant believe that stripper!!! Oh my god, she just picked up that fucking bill with her you-know-what.. did i dream that?? What are these guys watching?? God!! Is that batman and robin.. oh ya thats Dr Freeze isnt it?? Why doesnt anyone answer me?? Dont they hear me?? Wowie.. look at the pretty colours

3 hrs later on the train

Where am I? Are we there yet, tell me we didnt miss it!! That bastard's fucking with my brain.. i know he is, I know he's doing it on purpose!! Moron!! Why wont he tell me where we are!! What the hell!! I dont believe him.. we cant be lost, he's just fucking around.. I know it,

10 mins later .. "Wake up we gotta get off here girl"

I knew you were fucking with me. Trust you!!! god, with friends like you who needs enemies.. but you're sweet, so surprising too, so committed to that girl, even though you dont really admit it ... but you are, endearing to see a playboy plant roots, I have one back home like that, not exactly a playboy, but commitment phobic .. for a while .. good for me.. I am too .. I need to focus, focus focus focus

At the train station

Giggling, whats so funny, why the fuck am I giggling much, ohh the station(s moving!!! stop it!! stop moving .. cant stand straight.. i need to sit down .. moving with the station now.. see thats so much better .. she's staring at me!!! get your own brownie you perfect moron!! i hate these kind of women.. they're all so pretty and so so perfect!!! urgh!! disgusting!!! all of you, with your yoga is the language of god, and your so do you keep elephants as pets, idiots!! raising the bar for standards of ignorance, i know what busgirl said .. baba cool .. ya i agree .. they're all so baba cool .. but why wont the station stop spinning

Am I in love?? where did that come from.. who said that?? it was a guy I know, but who?? wait .. what ?? am i .. yes .. when i stop letting my brain talk i am .. i just gotta stop letting my brain run the show.. did u just ask me if I was love?? yes?? I didnt dream that!! ok this is getting creepy.. i gotta call S, he'll make it better, no wait he's sleeping, i cant call him now!!! i'll just wait till morning.. besides i called him already... i think.. yes i did, between the brownie and the sweet noodles ... wait when did we get to the batman place?? i dont remember any more

Tartary

Tartary
If I were Lord of Tartary,
Myself, and me alone,
My bed should be of ivory,
Of beaten gold my throne;
And in my court should peacocks flaunt,
And in my forests tigers haunt,
And in my pools great fishes slant
Their fins athwart the sun.

If I were Lord of Tartary,
Trumpeters every day
To all my meals should summon me,
And in my courtyards bray;
And in the evening lamps should shine,
Yellow as honey, red as wine,
While harp, and flute, and mandoline
Made music sweet and gay.

If I were Lord of Tartary,
I'd wear a robe of beads,
White, and gold, and green they'd be –
And small and thick as seeds;
And ere should wane the morning star,
I'd don my robe and scimitar.
And zebras seven should draw my car
Through Tartary's dark gleades.
Lord of the fruits of Tartary.
Her rivers silver-pale!
Lord of the hills of Tartary.
Glen, thicket, wood, and dale!
Her flashing stars, her scented breeze,
Her trembling lakes, like foamless seas,
Her bird-delighting citron-trees,
In every purple vale!

- Walter De La Mare

Blogger at last?

Well, for now at least.
I blog therefore I am?
Thats taken over hasnt it? Ever noticed how social networking, blogging and online chatting has taken over our lives? The world is a very small place now. So small in fact that it fits right on the top of my beat up old desk. All I need to do is tap on the magic mouse, click on a few words and voila, I'm in a different dimension of space time. Its a magical world where I can completely be myself, or completely be someone else. Cyberspace opens up a plethora of new and exciting opportunities for me to screw up and move on without anyone ever caring. I could be whoever I want to, whatever I want to. I could be a doctor, volunteering in Africa with doctors without borders, or a dashing corporate lawyer who just doesnt have time in her busy schedule to make friends, or the sweet innocent young 12 year old who just discovered the internet and is so very new to the whole chatroom experience. I could be anything and everything I ever wanted. I guess its an escapists paradise. You can move as far away from reality as you want. In fact there is no such thing as reality when it comes to cyberspace. Maybe thats why we all love it so much. It takes you away from your life. For a little while, all the deadlines, the project schedules, the insane bosses, the crazy relationships none of it matters. For a little while you can be a fish in a spacesuit. Flitting away in your little universe where nothing exists except you, information and Orkut (or Facebook)

Inkspot

Is this really happenning? Am I blogging? 2 days after the last blog.. well maybe there's hope for me yet.

Random thought for the day : Do we always remember the way things were? Or do we just remember they way we think they were? Do experiences shape memories? Or do memories shape experiences?

Now that that's out of the way. Did a bit of purging today. Wrote my diary after a long time. Thinking of getting back to writing. I have to hurry if I want to get my book done by the time I'm 35. It really has been a while since I wrote actually. I suppose I kind of miss it. I stopped in college after I lost my pen. I know it sounds silly, but I had this beat up old pen that I would write all my stuff with. All the stories the essays even exams. I had it all through school and then up until the second year of college. And then of course one of my best friends borrowed it and lost it! I hate when that happens!!! She never figured out why I made such a big deal of it. I guss its not her fault, she never even knew that I wrote let alone that the pen she borrowed was my quill. Its been some 5 years since then and I havent really written a word. I mean I've written, it just never makes any sense. When I had the pen, I would start out writing about something and then the pen would just take over and the story would just flow out of me. And I would discover it just as if I was a reader. Its difficult to explain I guess. But those who read get it. I mean the character would start as a little girl sad at moving house and would end at a murderess who killed an abusive husband, and I never knew how it got from one to other. Not until I read it back of course. The writing just took over. I never knew what to expect or where I would find myself at the end. I guess a little like now. I started off at a random thought and ended at an old memory. Maybe I had something to do with the stories after all :) .. Maybe I'll start another blog :)

Just some stuff

Ok the randomness hit me again. So our brilliant bus driver decides that he would like to take a shortcut today. Wow, amazing shortcut, of course I was irritated, annoyed, really really annoyed, so annoyed in fact that I did the most predictable thing ever, started messaging my friends telling them I was annoyed!!! What people will do to get a little attention ;)
Well got home about 45 mins late, angry as hell, swearing under my breath, wishing all sorts of hateful things on the @#$@#$@%#^%$&%^*&%^* bus driver... when what do I see, but my new maid standing in front of my door and waiting for me. Ah what a relief. I hate to admit it, and I hate it even more when it happens, but my mother, my dear sweet midlife-crisis-having, persistently-nagging-when-she's-annoyed, bad-earring-choosing mother was right!!!
I love being able to come home and be lazy. :) Ah bliss.

Online romance

I'm playing hookie from work today. Boss said I'd earned a day off after working soooo hard for the past few weeks. Great!! I should be happy right? I think I'm turning into one of those crazed work obsessed nuts who's helpless without their workstation in front of them. Gotta be that. No other explanation. I'm obsessed with being constantly connected. Hell I spend half my time at home on social networking sites like orkut/facebook etc etc etc. Whatever happened to good old fashioned ways to spend your time. Its depressing to not express yourself to friends face to face, just write diaries and blogs. Kinda lonely out here I guess. In endless cyberspace, we're all lost I guess. Looking for something to connect to. People meet online nowadays. They meet they fall in love, they get married... Almost without even seeing each other. Makes you wonder how small has the world really gotten, how connected have become? Its hard to miss the irony though, the more we connect the more lonely we are. Maybe I'm old school, but do we really forge true relationships on the internet? I was best friends with a college classmate for 4 years, we did everything together in college, then we moved in together and suddenly there was a whole side of her I'd never seen before. People quit their marriages on the pretext that they "dont know each other anymore". If after beings best friends, lovers, husband - wife, you dont know each other, then how well do you really know whats-his-face from your GNR chatroom?
So do we really fall in love online?? Or do we just fall in love with the idea of love/

Fake IPL Player

Ok its official ... I may not be an IPL fan but I'm most definitely a fan of this fake IPL player guy(girl) . The author is brilliant. While I still hold on to the slim hope of his being a player in the KKR (or should I say KR??), he really couldnt be one since I doubt that he would get that much time to post blogs, especially with the hawks watching. Plus he said he posted something from the Coachie's laptop which may have been a dead giveaway. One thing is for certain, whoever it is .. its a genius at the art of writing. Methinks they should write a book... Although considering this is India, you never know. KJ and SRK may just draw inspiration from this and create a big budget movie "K-K-Karan ko na kehna" - A moving emotional story all about loving your team, and leaving your team. The hero (SRK of course) is a young player with hopes and ambitions shattered by the cruel and moralless IPL teams. They try to draw him into their hedonistic, soulless, amoral, (yes i know they all mean pretty much the same thing), world but he resists thanks to the values and morals instilled by his parents. He gets tired of the humiliation and starts blogging and venting his frustration. They persecute him and when they finally find out who he is they plan to destroy his blog and ruin his reputation. Of course he wins in the end and everyone is happy. So watch out gang ... Dont miss next summer's hottest flick .. Inspired by true events!! :P

Getting back in the groove

Wow, been a while folks. And how!!! I guess almost a year is long enough for it to be a year. So let's catch up why dont we... Ok so in the last year I've done some really shitty work and some interestesting (yes its not a typo) work ... who knew I'd actually LIKE testing ... well I guess it takes all kinds.
Made a few messes, had a few losses, had a few gains too now that I think about it, made new friends, corrupted some old ones (you know who you are ;) ) Let's just say ... Its been fun :D ... looking forward to another interesting one ... here's hoping it has all the drama, none of the melodrama and more fun than the last one ... And for those of you who dont like this post .. Apologies from Flitting Cloud ... As I said .. I'm just "Getting back in the groove"