Marriage.. Really??

Am I the only one who thinks its pointless? Or that people are rushing into it? Its not like I'm against committment. I don't think I'm against the concept of marriage either, its just that I guess there's too much to do before that. People think its time to "settle down". What does that even mean? "Settle Down"?? Are we all too restless? And if we are too restless, then how does marrying someone change that?
S thinks its because I'm from a broken home. Maybe it is a little. But this whole anti marriage thing is not exactly ANTI marriage. I guess I just think most people do it because they know they have to at some point so why not just do it and get it over with. Some guys reason saying that having kids later in life is difficult so lets get married and have kids early, parents say its to give you a sense of responsibility, or to help you have a home and a family of your own. All valid reasons I guess from their own points of view, but it just does not make sense to me. I mean, just because I have to die some time in the future doesnt mean I'll accelerate the process, or ok if that's too morbid an example how about, if you know you want to have kids at 30 you wouldnt get pregnant at 15 because, hell its going to happen eventually so why not get a head start.
People plan these things in the weirdest manner imaginable and for the weirdest reasons possible, I know this one guy who planned his marriage and his kids in a way that his Life Insurance payout coincides with his kid's going to college. And so that he could afford to get married at the "correct" time, he got his dad to foot the bill, because, well parents have to pay for their kid's marriage. Of course sweetie, why not.
Its a scary concept and I dont know if I'll ever truly be ready for it. Until I do I guess. I mean surprisingly enough I was swept away by one conversation and a promise of marriage, so much that I even asked an old flame to propose to me on top of the highest mountain on a trip we took together. Its strange I guess, the romance of it all. I guess I really do live in the land of fairies and goblins. Where nothing is ugly or dark or flawed. Its all just "perfect" in a sense. Where a simple heart -to-heart talk can sweep you off your feet, and a soft look and make you want to swoon. And a quiet question, barely asked; a simple "Will you?" can strip away all your fears, turning you inside out until you succumb and let yourself be carried away in the insanity of it all, never minding the eventual outcome, just remembering the wave that captured you and carried you into the promised land.

Between brownies and batman

The radio buzzes, the phone rings, disconnected thoughts racing through my mind. I see polka dots, pretty colours, what if this never ends, oh shit!!! oh fuck!!! I have work tomorrow, how the hell am I gonna get back!!! I have to cange three trains... you bastard!!! why the hell did you let me do this, wait... I wanted to do this!!! Fuck, it was my idea!! I'm so stupid!!!! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit

Is it me or is the music really weird, how long have I been asleep? Look at the clock.. there it is, read the time, wait. i cant read, 2:15 am.. what?? that cant be, I just checked 2 hours ago, it was 2:10 am... the clock"s broken... I gotta find my cell phone, where's the phone.. shit... how am I gonna get back?? I cant believe that stripper!!! Oh my god, she just picked up that fucking bill with her you-know-what.. did i dream that?? What are these guys watching?? God!! Is that batman and robin.. oh ya thats Dr Freeze isnt it?? Why doesnt anyone answer me?? Dont they hear me?? Wowie.. look at the pretty colours

3 hrs later on the train

Where am I? Are we there yet, tell me we didnt miss it!! That bastard's fucking with my brain.. i know he is, I know he's doing it on purpose!! Moron!! Why wont he tell me where we are!! What the hell!! I dont believe him.. we cant be lost, he's just fucking around.. I know it,

10 mins later .. "Wake up we gotta get off here girl"

I knew you were fucking with me. Trust you!!! god, with friends like you who needs enemies.. but you're sweet, so surprising too, so committed to that girl, even though you dont really admit it ... but you are, endearing to see a playboy plant roots, I have one back home like that, not exactly a playboy, but commitment phobic .. for a while .. good for me.. I am too .. I need to focus, focus focus focus

At the train station

Giggling, whats so funny, why the fuck am I giggling much, ohh the station(s moving!!! stop it!! stop moving .. cant stand straight.. i need to sit down .. moving with the station now.. see thats so much better .. she's staring at me!!! get your own brownie you perfect moron!! i hate these kind of women.. they're all so pretty and so so perfect!!! urgh!! disgusting!!! all of you, with your yoga is the language of god, and your so do you keep elephants as pets, idiots!! raising the bar for standards of ignorance, i know what busgirl said .. baba cool .. ya i agree .. they're all so baba cool .. but why wont the station stop spinning

Am I in love?? where did that come from.. who said that?? it was a guy I know, but who?? wait .. what ?? am i .. yes .. when i stop letting my brain talk i am .. i just gotta stop letting my brain run the show.. did u just ask me if I was love?? yes?? I didnt dream that!! ok this is getting creepy.. i gotta call S, he'll make it better, no wait he's sleeping, i cant call him now!!! i'll just wait till morning.. besides i called him already... i think.. yes i did, between the brownie and the sweet noodles ... wait when did we get to the batman place?? i dont remember any more